Awhile ago I wrote my warning about falling for the ‘bad boy.’ Now it’s time to figure out if you have one lying next to you. And what kind. You may think you have a Marlboro Man while in truth you’re harboring a Hannibal Lector.
Take a look below. Which one is your bad boy?
The Romantic Lead: Rhett Butler. Heart of gold hiding inside a scallywag. Has tons of money. Always shows up to rescue you. Loves children. Once committed to you, he’ll sweep you away to a fully staffed mansion and the best big O you’ve ever had.
The Thug: Tony Soprano. Will sweet-talk you while trying to get some. Smack you away when done. Unless you’re his wife. In which case, he’ll buy you diamonds after giving someone else the big O.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself, to determine whether you’re harboring a romantic lead or a thug:
1) When you speculate about whether he’ll ever cheat on you, your instinct tells you:
a. Of course. He cheated with me before we got married.
b. Um . . . I guess it’s possible.
c. Are you kidding? Before or after he finishes sorting out receipts for the taxes?
2) During an argument, he is most likely to:
a. Swear, call you names, pin all the blame on you.
b. Yell until you back down.
c. Walk away until he calms down.
3) For Christmas, he will:
a. Have his mistress or secretary pick something out for you.
b. Run into Macy’s on Christmas Eve and buy the first three gift sets he sees.
c. Agonize so much that whatever he buys, you feel the effort and love.
4) When you’re sick, you expect:
b. He’ll move the remote to your side of the bed.
c. He’ll ask if you need him to stay home.
5) When your mother becomes ill, he might:
a) Pout because you’re not home to make supper.
b) Ask how long this is going to go on.
c) Offer to let her come live with the two of you
If your man is an ‘a’ – get yourself to a therapist, if you’re not yet married, and to a lawyer if you are.
If he’s a ‘b’—do you have lots of girlfriends to mop up your tears? Thank goodness!
You have a ‘c?’ Congratulations, you’ll have someone to watch the Oscars with this weekend!